Arrival in Sydney

THIS IS AN OPEN LETTER TO JESSICA WATSON.

As I right these words I'm watching u arriving in Sydney after sailing around the world alone in a small boat. Congratulations! Thoousands of Sydneysiders are lining the foreshores to see your arrival, and all five TV stations are showing your tiny boat, Ella's Pink Lady.

I'd like to tell u that ur a different woman from the intrepid 16-year-old who sailed from Sydney a few months ago. u have grown up.

Apart from inspiring children all over the world by proving that if you put your mind to it, u can achieve almost anything. But who would listen to a 91-year-old geezer(or even an old fart)? And, as UNO, we all fart. Sum say everyone farts 37 times a day U must have found it particularly Mbarrassing in your confined quarters

I b leave ima member of your support team, having emailed you once or twice b4.

P.S. I'm watching Knot 1, but all 5 of our TV channels although knot @ the same time.

BTW UR saling close to the wind these days. Do U no the origin of that phrase?

PPS. When I first tried 2 send this mess age 2U, I had 2 rite the words witz edip, which sounds like wits edit!

And I'm a copy editor for Anu Garg's A Word A Daynews letter which he sends five days a week to more than 900,000 wordlovers in 200 coutries.

P.P.P.S.

Seriously, I hope my two - nay, thousand - of readers adopt a suggestion that they eat the same rations today that the TBB (The Bligh Bount voyage re-enactment crew) do, then estimate the cost of the meal, and send that amount to SIF (Sheffield Institute for Neuroscience).